= = = = =THE FREE MAN= = = = =

Next week my friends is asking me to go clubbing with them . . . Generally, when peoples ask me for ' entertainment hour ' , I will say YES without any hesitation . . . but sometimes I often will 'fly aeroplane ', which mean I will rejected them at last minute. I know its a bad behavior . . . . but actually the reason I'm repeating the same behavior is because I'm a weak in managing my time ! ! Everyday no matter where I am . . . . ' late ' word is SHOWN on my forehead as I can do something that takes lots of lots of time . . .

And the next week is my ' big day ', so I also want to experience to be an adult (never been before). . . so I told my friends that I'll be there . . . . . Wahahaha ! ! ! Now I'm wondering which location is better and more 'peace' , definitely will be in Subang Sunway, but which location ? ? ? is it Bar celona better ? ? or AMOS better ? ? ? I just want a places that can let me to have fun and enjoy the rhythm of the musics with my friends . . . I never ' wild 'with my friend before . . . and hopefully I can enter inside the club since I'm still under-aged. Hahaha . . . . Another problem I'm most concern about, I can't take any 'heavy drinks' . . . . . I know myself as I easy to get drunk even a 1 bottles of Heineken . . . My friends told me that they planned to order a Whisky or Vodka to ' celebrate ' with me . . . actually they want to see my ' reaction ' after and before ! ! I know it . . . after drunk I can do something that is totally foolish and stupid coz I can't control myself already . . . and end up with faint ! !


AH LIM . . NEXT WEEK . . . I WON'T REPEAT MY 'AEROPLANE' AGAIN . . . MAYBE AT THIS TIME ! !

Sometimes I've felt it . . . but after few days . .I will completely lost all the memories ! ! ! and again . . .I'm still repeating the same life mistakes . . . Indeed, its truth that I'm acting like an 'under age' person ! !


The most mistakes is my " kiddy mind " , I admitted that everyday I be living like an kid. Maybe is because my parents like to make every decisions for me no matter from what aspect. Even when we're eating at outside . . I'll let my parents to decides my dinner. As years passed slowly . . . I'm became ' dependent' person . . I'll let my family to decides my everything. Actually they're giving me a lot of freedom to decides my wants ! ! but I think maybe I'm used to be controlled by my family. Now I not willing to become independent anymore. After I pursued my studies to college . . . I'm trying to learn to be more independent, YES I'm already started to adapt myself to college's life. I managed to cooked delicious food for my friends, washed my clothes, or even cleaning the whole room and etc. But I still can't control my 'stupid little mind' . . . why sometimes I'll act like an kid when I'm having conversation with them . . maybe among my friends, I'm the youngest . .(college's friend or even old friends) I still remembered that one day I told my friend that I like 'spongebob squarepants 'cartoon . . . they say that I'm a 10years old kid . . . but I truly like this cartoon . . .it's so funny ! ! and they always treat me like an young brother . . . Oh gosh ! !

The second mistakes is my " speaking " , I'm wondered why I like to say something that not suppose to . . I still felt that until now I'm still repeating the same mistakes. The words fro my mouth is actually 65% didn't under brain process, which mean that I speak without thinking what am I saying . . . sometimes I also can't recall what I was saying after I split up the words . . . and end up with laughter from my friends. Actually many people give me a lot of advices that ' should think before you speak because it may cause troubles ' . . . Haizzz ! ! ! !
I want make a changes for my personality ! ! ! Because I'm not a small person which always lives in a cartoon world anymore . . . I need to be more mature . . .

I think maybe this song can described my mood ! ! ! GIVES me better relief antidote . .


BETTER MAN
Send someone to cure me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that cure
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to cure me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

MONDAY :


Nearly 11pm , and I'm still wondering what I gonna do for tomorrow . . . should I going K.L at 10.45am or 9.00am ? ? ? But my mind certainly got an answer "of course as late as possible" . After that , I'm preparing for packing up my stuff for tomorrow . . . Suddenly , a song that caught my entire attention . . . a song that makes me recalled back my previous memories , though I can't remember the songs name but it truly familiar . Kinda country music ' viva la vida ' feelings which brings me a lot of imagination about future . . . haha ! ! ! sounds crazy but it really gives me that kind of feelings . After that , I lying on my bed and focus on every songs that ' came after ' my ears . . . Few minutes later , I can felt the satisfaction that can't describe in words . When I was on my vacation in Bali ' 2008 school holidays ' we were staying at a super 'view' hotel at the middle of nowhere , that day also is on night . . . my dad was watching his ' indo speaking ' shows , I'm not interested on Bali's tv channels . . . that's why I went out for a walk , the moment I listening to my mp3 , I saw a lots a lots of "twinkle star " shinning around the universe . . . I totally stunted for that scene . . . can't even describe my feelings in words , extremely NICE ! ! ! a country songs with a good environment sure gives you a different perspective think of lives ! ! ! I guess this is most people think about the advantages of vacation . . . surely can inspires you in life lessons . . . Hope this coming December vacation I can feel it again . . . .